Reviving Damaged hair Extensions: Hair Care Tips You Can Try

By Patricia Silva, Professional Hair Stylist with 25+ Years Experience

Let's be real. I'm writing this while running my fingers through my clip

in hair extensions for maybe the hundredth time today because I still can't believe how soft they are. Just a few weeks ago? They felt like straight up straw. Honestly, if you blindfolded me and handed me my extensions or a handful of hay, I don't think I could have told the difference.

And yes, after 25 years working with hair, I should've known better. But sometimes we learn the hard way, even as professionals.

If you're googling "why do my hair extensions feel like crap" at 2am (been there), I've been exactly where you are. The good news? Your damaged hair extensions can probably be saved. Here's exactly how I rescued mine with professional hair care tips and a lot of trial and error.

How My Hair Extensions Went From Perfect to Disaster

It started gradually. I'd had this beautiful set of clip ins for about six months, and they were my go to for literally everything. Then summer happened. Beach days, pool parties, and I started teaching more styling classes where I was demonstrating heat styling techniques EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

At first they just felt a little dry at the ends. No big deal, right? Then they started tangling more. By the end of summer, brushing them was like trying to untangle a Brillo pad. I thought maybe they just needed a good wash.

They did not need a good wash. Washing them made it worse.

The breaking point was when I was getting ready for a wedding I was attending. I clipped them in, took one look in the mirror, and they looked SO fake and damaged. Like something you'd find at a Halloween store for $12.99. I took them right back out and literally sat on the bathroom floor thinking about all the clients I'd lectured about proper extension care.

The irony wasn't lost on me. I'd spent over $200 on quality hair extensions.

Why Hair Extensions Get Dry and Damaged: The Science Behind It

Okay so here's the thing I tell every client who buys hair extensions. Your natural hair? It gets constant moisture from your scalp. Those natural oils (sebum, specifically) are always working their way down your hair shaft, keeping it protected and moisturized.

Hair extensions don't have that luxury. Whether you've got clip-ins, tape-ins, or sew-ins, they're all cut off from any natural oil source. So from day one, they're already starting to dry out.

Every time you wash them, style them with heat, brush them, or even just have them sitting in sunlight, you're pulling more moisture out. And because they can't replace it naturally like your real hair does, the damage just keeps building up. The cuticle layer starts to lift, the hair becomes porous, and before you know it, you've got a tangled mess.

This is especially true for lower quality hair extensions or anything that's been chemically processed. Remy hair holds up better because the cuticles are intact and facing the same direction, but even the best quality hair extensions need serious maintenance.

The worst part is how slowly it happens. One day they're fine, next thing you know they're a matted crunchy mess and you're wondering what the hell happened.

My Disastrous First Attempts at Fixing Them

I panicked. Went straight to YouTube like I wasn't a professional hairstylist with two decades of experience. Pride goes before a fall, right?

First video I found said to coat them in coconut oil overnight. So I did that. Woke up the next morning and they were greasy but STILL dry somehow? Like how is that even possible?

Here's why it didn't work: coconut oil has large molecules that sit ON TOP of the hair shaft. It doesn't actually penetrate deeply enough to repair damage. Great for sealing in moisture if you already have moisture, useless for restoring dried out extensions.

Then I found some blog that swore mayonnaise would bring extensions back to life. I was desperate enough to actually try it. Don't. Just don't. All I got was hair that smelled like sandwiches and zero improvement. My husband walked in and was like "why does it smell like a deli in here?"

What actually helped was when I stopped being stubborn and called my friend Mia, who specializes in extension applications at a high end salon. She came over, took one look at my crispy mess and literally said "Girl. You know better."

She brought over this professional grade deep conditioning mask (the kind we use in salons, not the drugstore stuff) and showed me what I should've been doing all along.

We detangled every section super gently first using a wide tooth comb and working from ends to roots. Not yanking or ripping, just patient careful detangling with a bit of leave-in conditioner as slip. Then we applied the protein moisture balanced mask thick, making sure every strand was saturated. Wrapped them in plastic wrap (yes, like the stuff you use for leftovers) and used my hooded dryer on low heat for about 20 minutes.

When we rinsed it out with cool water I actually gasped. They weren't perfect but they felt like REAL HAIR again. Not silky smooth yet but definitely not crispy and dead feeling.

DIY Hair Extension Treatments That Actually Work (And Why)

After seeing that improvement I got kind of obsessed with trying different treatments. Here's what actually worked for restoring damaged extensions, with the science behind why:

Deep Conditioning with Avocado and Honey

I mixed one ripe avocado with a tablespoon of coconut oil and some honey. It was SO messy. My sink looked like someone made a smoothie and forgot to put the lid on the blender. But it genuinely made my extensions softer and shinier.

Why it works: Avocado has small enough fatty acids to actually penetrate the hair shaft. Honey is a humectant, meaning it attracts and holds moisture. Together they're pretty powerful for dry hair.

Application tips: Use on damp extensions (not dripping wet), let it sit for 30 minutes under a shower cap for heat activation, then rinse with cool water. Warm water makes the avocado harder to rinse out and I learned that the hard way.

Egg and Olive Oil Protein Treatment

This one worked pretty well BUT learn from my mistakes. Use cool water to rinse. COOL WATER. Not warm. Because if you use warm water you'll be picking tiny bits of cooked egg out of your extensions for the next three days. Ask me how I know.

The protein from the egg helps rebuild the hair's structure when it's feeling weak or stretchy. Olive oil adds moisture and shine. But honestly, if you're not comfortable with the egg situation, just buy a protein treatment. Way less risky.

Rice Water Rinse for Strength

This is an old technique that's having a moment on social media, and it actually works. Soak rice in water for 30 minutes, strain it, and use the milky water as a final rinse after conditioning.

The inositol in rice water helps repair damage and makes hair stronger. I noticed less breakage after using this once a week for a month.

Best Products for Hair Extensions: Professional Recommendations

After 25 years in this industry, I've tried basically everything. Here's what I actually recommend to my clients and use on my own extensions:

Sulfate Free Shampoo (Non-Negotiable)

This was a game changer for proper extension care. Regular shampoo with sulfates strips away the protective oils and any conditioning treatments you've applied.

For extensions, I specifically look for shampoos with mild cleansers like cocamidopropyl betaine or decyl glucoside. They clean without destroying.

Leave In Conditioner with Lightweight Oils

I tried so many before finding formulas that work for different hair types. Most made fine hair look greasy or weighed it down.

Look for leave-ins with argan oil, grapeseed oil, or jojoba. These are lighter oils that won't make your hair look flat but still provide serious moisture and heat protection.

For my clients with thicker hair extensions, I recommend heavier formulas with shea butter or avocado oil.

Protein and Moisture Balance Treatments

This is where most people mess up their extension care. Your hair needs BOTH protein and moisture, but not at the same time and not in equal amounts.

I rotate two different deep conditioning masks:

• Protein treatment (once every 3 to 4 weeks): When extensions feel stretchy, gummy, or limp

• Moisture treatment (weekly): When they feel dry, rough, or brittle

Too much protein makes hair hard and brittle. Too much moisture makes it mushy and weak. You need both in balance.

Heat Protectant (Every Single Time)

I use a cream based heat protectant that contains silicones and polymers. Yes, silicones get a bad rap, but they literally form a protective barrier between your hair and the heat tool.

Look for products with dimethicone, cyclopentasiloxane, or phenyl trimethicone in the first five ingredients.

I Was Destroying My Extensions with Heat (Here's What Changed)

Real talk, heat damage was probably 70% of my problem. And I'm embarrassed to admit this as a professional, but I used to turn my flat iron up as high as it would go because I thought higher heat meant better results and longer lasting styles.

That's not how thermal styling works. At all. I was just frying them faster.

What I do now:

• Never exceed 300°F (150°C) for fine to medium hair extensions

• 350°F (175°C) maximum for coarse or very thick extensions

• Always use heat protectant, no exceptions

• One pass with the tool, maybe two. Not five or six passes on the same section

• Air dry whenever possible, especially at the roots

I've also started using heatless styling methods more often. Flexi rods, foam rollers, braiding for waves. It takes longer but extends the life of your extensions by months.

The cream heat protectant I mentioned earlier? It's not just protection. It also helps the hair straighten at lower temperatures, so you don't need as much heat to get the results you want.

Nighttime Hair Extension Care Routine (What I Tell All My Clients)

Used to just fall asleep with them however they landed. That was stupid. By morning they'd be knotted and breaking and generally destroyed.

Here's my professional nighttime routine for clip-in hair extensions:

Step 1: Brush gently with a boar bristle brush or a loop brush designed for extensions. Start at the ends and work your way up.

Step 2: Apply one small drop of hair oil or serum to the ends only. NOT near the clips or attachment points or they get slippery.

Step 3: Braid loosely with a silk or satin scrunchie. Never use elastic hair ties, they cause breakage.

Step 4: Store them either hanging up or laid flat in a storage case. Don't just toss them in a drawer.

I also got silk pillowcases for my whole house. I know it sounds bougie and extra but the reduced friction genuinely helps with tangles on both your natural hair and any extensions you might accidentally sleep in.

Critical rule: If you wear clip-ins, TAKE THEM OUT BEFORE BED. Every single time. No exceptions. Sleeping in clip-ins equals breakage, tangling, and damage to both the extensions and your natural hair where they're clipped.

For tape-ins or sew-ins that you can't remove nightly, braid or put them in a loose low ponytail with a silk scrunchie before bed.

When You Need Professional Help for Damaged Extensions

If your hair extensions are really badly damaged, just go to a salon. Seriously. And I say this as someone who is a salon professional.

I tried to lighten my extensions at home once because I thought I'd save time and money. Spoiler: I did not save time or money. I made them crunchy and dry instantly and then had to spend hours trying to fix my mess with multiple rounds of treatments.

A good stylist who specializes in hair extensions can:

• Assess whether the damage is repairable or if you need new extensions

• Do professional treatments that penetrate deeper than at home options

• Cut off damaged ends without ruining the overall length or blend

• Color correct if you've had a mishap with toner or lightener

The stylist I eventually consulted was really honest with me. She said some of the damage could be reversed with intensive treatments and some couldn't. We did Olaplex treatments, protein reconstructors, and deep moisture masks over several weeks. The results were way better than anything I could've achieved solo.

Sometimes you just need to admit defeat and let another professional handle it. Even hairstylists need hairstylists.

My Complete Hair Extension Maintenance Routine Now

Now that I've successfully brought my extensions back from the dead, I've completely changed my care approach. These are the same hair care tips I give every client:

Washing Schedule

• Wash only after 10 to 12 wears for clip-ins

• Every 1 to 2 weeks for tape-ins or sew-ins

• Always use cool or lukewarm water (hot water opens the cuticle and causes frizz)

• Apply shampoo mainly to the attachment points where oil builds up

• Condition from mid-length to ends only

Heat Styling Rules

• Air dry 80% before using any heat tools

• Always apply heat protectant to damp hair

• Use the lowest effective temperature

• Limit heat styling to 2 to 3 times per week maximum

Environmental Protection

• Don't wear hair extensions to the beach or pool (salt water and chlorine are extension killers)

• If swimming is unavoidable, saturate them with fresh water and conditioner first to block chlorine absorption

• Use UV protection spray if you'll be in the sun for extended periods

• Avoid prolonged exposure to steam rooms or saunas

Product Guidelines

• Only use products specifically labeled as safe for extensions

• Avoid anything with high alcohol content (drying)

• Skip oils near the attachment points on tape-ins or bonds (causes slippage)

• Never use purple shampoo without testing first (can turn some extensions gray or purple)

Knowing When to Replace Your Hair Extensions

Sometimes extensions are just done, and no amount of treatment will save them. I held onto one set way too long trying to rescue them. They were shedding everywhere, tangling immediately after I brushed them, and looked obviously fake no matter what I did.

Eventually I had to accept they were beyond saving.

Signs it's time for new extensions:

• Constant shedding from the wefts (more than 10 to 15 hairs per brush session)

• Matting that returns within hours of detangling

• Weird gummy or sticky texture when wet

• Extreme color fading or brassiness that won't tone

• Visible thinning at the ends

• They feel rough and straw-like even after deep conditioning

The average lifespan for quality extensions with proper care:

• Clip-ins: 6 to 12 months with regular use

• Tape-ins: 6 to 8 weeks per application, can be reused 2 to 3 times

• Sew-ins: 6 to 8 weeks per install

• Fusion or micro-link: 3 to 4 months

If you're past these timeframes and seeing damage, it's probably time to replace rather than repair.

Final Thoughts: What I Learned From Almost Ruining My Extensions

It took time, a lot of trial and error, and swallowing my pride as a professional, but I got my extensions back to feeling soft and looking natural again.

The biggest lesson? Daily maintenance matters way more than occasional intensive treatments.

You can do a $50 salon treatment once a month, but if you're frying them with 450°F heat every day, sleeping in them, and washing with harsh shampoo, that treatment isn't going to save them.

Your extension care checklist: ✓ Use heat protectant every single time you style ✓ Wash with sulfate free, extension safe products✓ Brush gently twice daily with the right tools ✓ Protect them at night with proper storage or braiding ✓ Balance protein and moisture treatments based on your hair's needs ✓ Avoid chlorine, salt water, and excessive sun exposure ✓ Be realistic about when damage is beyond repair

If your extensions feel like straw right now, don't panic. Start with a good deep conditioning treatment. Switch to gentler products. Reduce your heat styling. Give them some serious TLC for a few weeks and see how they respond.

And if all else fails? There's no shame in starting fresh with a new set and using these professional hair care tips from day one to keep them soft, shiny, and beautiful way longer.

Your hair extensions can bounce back. Mine did. After 25 years of doing hair, I can tell you with confidence: proper care makes all the difference.

Patricia Silva is a licensed cosmetologist and hair extension specialist with over 25 years of experience in the beauty industry. She specializes in hair extension application, color correction, and helping clients maintain healthy hair and extensions.